[ACCEPTED] Icecat109's Overwatch Transhuman Arm application (Completely redone)

APPLICATION


Steam Name:icecat109
Steam Profile Link:http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198098267632
Steam ID:0:0:013310


How long have you been on the server?
2-3 weeks

Do you know how to properly roleplay?
Yes, I do.

Why do you want to be an Overwatch Transhuman Arm?
Because I favor their personality and I take it as a chance to learn more about the Combine perspectives. I also take it as a good chance to increase my roleplay skills.

Have you read all of the application guidelines?
Yes I have.

What have you learned from the application guidelines?
I have learned how to talk as a Overwatch Transhuman Arm and most the personality of one.

What do you do in this situation. A judgement waiver is called, and your fellow Overwatch units are heading to the slums, just like ordered. You, however, happen to still be in the plaza.
I would scan the perimeter checking for threats and I would cautiously advance to the slums to catch up to my fellow units.

Do you understand that you are mostly mechanical and must follow orders, and cannot make decisions or have passive conversations with other players?
Yes I do.

Give an example of how to properly speak as an Overwatch Transhuman Arm.
"SUSPECT SPOTTED; DISTRICT TWO;;"
"REQUESTING A CIVIL PROTECTION OFFICER; APARTMENT BLOCK A;;"
"ANTI-CITIZEN SPOTTED;;"

What are your Metropolice Force digits?
312

How active are you as a community member in general?
I would say highly active.

Do you plan to be a loyal player, and come back to the server often?
I would say I do. I love the server community as well as the friendly staff.

Do you plan to flag up often when a Judgement Waiver is in effect?
Yes I do.

CHARACTER INFORMATION:

Name:Luke Kreen
Age:24
Gender:Male
Height:6'1
Status (Loyalist, Civil Worker's Union, or Citizen?):Citizen
Loyalist Points:0

Mother's Full Name:Sara Kreen

Father's Full Name:John Kreen

Previous locations of residence before city seventeen:

City 18




Character Backstory:
Luke Kreen was never loyal to the Union. He would throw trash at the Civil Protection and would yell just to audio-violate. Before the war Luke Kreen lived on a farm where he thought he would grow up since he had grown very attached to the farm. When Luke Kreen was 19, he shipped himself to college and dedicated himself to study for a job. When Luke Kreen graduated, he sent a resume for an engineer and one month later he received a letter saying that he was accepted and that he started the next day.


Luke Kreen worked in the engineering facility for four years until the Combine took over the earth. In fear, Luke Kreen ran away and hid in a sewer for one year. When Luke Kreen finally had the guts to leave the sewer, he boarded a train on route to city seventeen.  When Luke Kreen arrived, he immediately was angered by the way the citizens where being treated thus creating the thought to rebel in Luke's head. Luke Kreen started to throw stuff at the Civil Protection which immediately stirred trouble and two officers decided to shoot at him for continuing to do the process after being told not to continue.

Luke Kreen hid inside the sewers until he encountered his first Judgement Waiver after one month. Luke Kreen tried to remain calm and escort himself to the apartment thinking the Civil Protection would not remember him but to his surprise, one unit remembered his description and started walking toward him and Luke Kreen ran away as soon as he noticed the approaching officer. The unit called for backup and several OTA units started flanking him until Luke Kreen finally was out of breath. Luke hid behind a pillar thinking he was safe but when he turned the other corner, he saw a stunstick swing at his face and knocked him out. Luke Kreen woke up to notice he was on a table with several monitors and camras.

Luke Kreen suddenly heard a voice asking him if he would like to undergo surgery and become one with the OTA, or if he wanted to be killed. Luke Kreen chose to have surgery and a sharp needle like object pricked him in the back and he was unconscious. Luke Kreen was half awake when he noticed his entire body looked like some kind of robotic figure when he looked up to see a wire hooked up to his head. Luke Kreen started forgetting his thoughts and these new thoughts entered his head. I love the Combine, I will serve the Combine, I will never disobey orders, Luke Kreen kept getting these thoughts when he suddenly blacked out.

Luke Kreen had, at that very moment, become a Overwatch Transhuman Arm unit and will remain that way until death.

Please let me know if I made a mistake and I will fix it as soon as possible.

As of current I am going to put your application on hold.

The prompt about the plaza is worded in a way that makes your OTA seem unprofessional and far from mechanical. If you edit this part to have your OTA viewed as a professional, non-human soldier I will apply my verdict.

To be slightly more specific, you worded it with "scrambled".
Also try to expand the passage, just some.

Please excuse me if it takes a while to fix it, I am quite busy today and will not have much time to fix it up.

I finished fixing the problem, I hope you will find it acceptable.

ACCEPTED

Congratulations, after reading parts of both plaza examples you have shown you know what you are supposed to act like it that regard.